Anti-greeting Card - uncharismatic

UNCHARMING, IMPOLITE AND UNATTRACTIVE.
WERE YOU REALLY EXPECTING GOOD NEWS?

By air mail, horse-drawn carriage or speedboat, or even hand-delivered: whatever your message says to take the piss out of the reader – be sure that it’s done with panache. Ideally on high-quality 320 g premium card stock with a fancy felt grain. Perfect as a gift or sending by post. Quality coupled with high standards – for rotten congratulations and the sweetest bad-wishes on ink-friendly material. A novelty in a lovely shade of black. Envelope included, of course.